


Not What I Wanted

by seekingsquake



Series: My Family, My Friends [3]
Category: She-Hulk, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Familial Relationships, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 16:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3699674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekingsquake/pseuds/seekingsquake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce had wanted her to get it, but he hadn't really wanted her to understand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not What I Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a tumblr prompt about Jen and She-Hulk losing control for the first time, and Bruce's reaction to it.
> 
> All characters are property of Marvel. I own nothing except a Hulk TY beanie ball.  
> Please do not repost or reupload this piece anywhere without consent. If you ask, I'm sure we can work something out :]

The tower was hit with a gaseous drug that was made to interact with the gamma in their blood. It wasn’t very strong, only a clumsy attack plan, but the idea behind it was solid, was terrifying. The gas was supposed to make the hulks lose control. And Jen was… Jen lost it.

They can only speculate on why it didn’t affect Bruce as much. It still did; everyone could see him struggling to keep Hulk in check, but he was still him. He was still in control. Jen was… Jen wasn’t Jen anymore. They had never seen She-Hulk like this, never seen Jen really lose it. They had managed to corral her into the containment room, a place Bruce had dubbed The Box, and now, nearly six hours later, she’s still banging on the walls and making this noise that’s somewhere between a roar and a scream. They can hear her. She’s scared and pained and so, so angry.

“She’ll get tired eventually,” Bruce says to everyone, and his fists are clenched tight and pressed hard into his forehead. “She’ll get tired, or the drug will wear out of her system. It’s going to stop.”

Tony rubs his hands into the tense muscles of Bruce’s shoulders. “And you’re doing okay?”

“ _Yes!_ ” Bruce snaps, “Yes, I’m doing okay! I’m not fucking eight damn feet tall and ripping people in half and tearing our home to pieces. I’m fine! I’m worried about her and I swear to God if  _one_  more person asks me if I’m okay we’re going to have a second green problem on our hands but I’m  _fine_.” It’s been a long six hours. That gas may have put Jen out, but it hurt Bruce too. It’s better than it was even an hour ago, though; they can tell that it’s working through Bruce’s system. He’s calmer and less tense than he was earlier. Tony keeps massaging him. 

“Bruce, it’s okay,” Steve says tiredly. “We got banged up a little putting her in the Box, but nobody got seriously hurt. Nothing’s been irreparably broken. You’re right, it’ll stop. And when it does we’ll take care of her.”

“We’ll take care of you, too,” Tony adds softly, and Bruce wants to relax into it, but he can’t. It’s all his fault anyway, so as long as Jen’s fighting so will he be. 

* * *

When she comes to, she’s already crying. She hasn’t cried this hard since her mother died, since Bruce disappeared. But here she is, a mess. Everything hurts. It’s an excruciating sort of pain, and it’s in every part of her– muscles, bones, throat, eyes. Even her fucking hair hurts. She can’t remember what happened, doesn’t know where she is, and she’s so, so afraid. Her sobs are loud, hoarse wails, and she just can’t stop.

But then she’s bundled into a set of arms, held close against a chest with a steadily beating heart, and it’s definitely Bruce’s quiet, concerned whisper telling her that everything’s okay, that she’s safe, that he’ll protect her.

“B-B-Br-Bru-,”

He shushes her before she can even choke out his name, then says something to someone else and the lights are dimmed. She’s wrapped up gently in a soft blanket and lifted from where she’d been lying on the floor, taken into a dark room, and set on a couch. Bruce sits beside her, pulls her into him, and his gentle hold on her never falters. “Just try to relax, okay? I know it hurts, but just try to relax. Steve’s getting you something to eat. You’re hungry, right?”

She is, but she’s more nauseated than anything. 

His voice is soft when he speaks to her, so practised that she almost can’t hear how worried he is. “Can you tell me what you remember?”

She shakes her head, but has to grit her teeth at the motion. Everything fucking hurts. “What–,”

“Later,” he tells her. “Just close your eyes. I know you’re tired.”

* * *

Bruce hasn’t eaten in three days. He’s hardly left the lab since Jen recovered, actually, and Tony watches him with unrestrained concern. “Hey Banner, maybe you should take a break.”

He’s not even working, just staring at the wall. He seems startled by Tony’s voice anyway. “Oh. Uh, no, I’m okay.”

Tony sighs. Bruce has been unstable since Jen got here, since the blood transfusion, and its been months. He’s almost ready to send her away, see if that’ll help, but he knows it won’t. He knows that if Jen leaves then so will Bruce, and then nobody will be there to take care of the physicist. “Can we at least talk about what’s bothering you, then?”

Bruce almost laughs, but doesn’t quite make it. “Since when do you want to talk about feelings?”

“Since it looks like you’re trying to starve yourself to death.”

There’s a thick silence between them, and then Bruce sighs, closes his eyes, slumps in his chair. His words are slow, pained, almost mumbled. He says, “I don’t know why I’m here Tony. I’m not a hero like you guys.”

That’s not at all like what Tony was expecting. “What are you talking about?”

“I. I didn’t want her to get hurt. I didn’t ever want this for her, and I want to help her and keep her safe. But I was. God, I was so  _angry_  with her Tony! I. I didn’t understand why it was so damn easy for her, you know? She changes back and forth like it’s nothing, likes it’s  _natural_  while I. It always feels like I’m fucking dying. She gets to stay conscious and aware and I never know if I’m ever going to come back! I just. I wanted her to understand. But I never wanted this to happen to her, I never wanted her to lose control like that, I just…,”

“Bruce… You’re talking like you had something to do with it.”

“Of course I didn’t! I just. I. Maybe if I hadn’t thought... Maybe if I’d been better…,”

“Seriously?” Tony forces Bruce’s chair around so that they’re eye to eye. “You’re feeling guilty because you think that since you put out some bad fucking thought energy or whatever that the Tower came under attack and Jen got hurt? Really? Bruce, that gas hurt you, too!”

“Not like it hurt her, not like I. Not like I deserved it to.”

“Shut up. Shut your fucking mouth. I can’t. I can’t even believe that you’re thinking like that. Listen to me. Shut up for one goddamn second and just hear what I’m saying to you. You are good. You are _so. Good_. Being angry doesn’t change that, okay? Not wanting to always have the shit end of the deal doesn’t change that. You’re so fucking good. You’re so…” He doesn’t even know what else to say. He just folds Bruce into his arms, tangles his fingers in Bruce’s curls, and holds him close. That’s the best he’s got, all he can do. It’s not enough.

But Tony doesn’t have anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by the delightful werevampiwolf.


End file.
